Leaving ESPRIT.

Leaving ESPRIT, I thought it was easy.
But it was not, it was a hard thing to do.
Just minutes before 9.30pm, Jas (My supervisor) asked me to pick anything I like from EDC men or Men's Casual. Well, I hesitated because it just wasn’t me to accept anything free and expensive. In the end, they chose for me a green striped nerd looking shirt, it looked all right (I just don't know how to judge what is good looking or bad looking) and I wore it to school the next day.

All right, here comes the difficult part.

As I was bidding them my final goodbye, there seems to be a crack in my mind. The torrent of images, events rushing out of this crack caught me off guard. It wasn’t supposed to be happening!
I hated folding, hated doing counter check, hated working so late into the night and hated the pea-brained customers.

Everything in this world is two dimensional it seems. I might have my "don't like" but there is a fair share of what I hold so dear. There is this saying; you never miss your water until your well runs dry. I guess it applies here.

I can't bear to leave ESPRIT.
I have spent almost every weekend there.
All the people that I can talk to were there.
I had fun there.
It was the only place where people know about me and you. Mein Kampf they know.
It was a place of safe haven, a comfort zone.

I bolted to the entrance as fast I could, the tears came unbidden. Call me weak, call me useless for crying but I felt like I’m leaving a part of me behind. At least I didn’t let anyone see I did, I wouldn’t know where to hide my face then

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The blog has been returned to its original address. It will continue as before, like what it was.

The sun paling in comparison to you.
The sun became the candle, and you became my sun.
That is why I hate being in the dark.

It sort of come into my mind, how I view you as my sun. Your smile radiates like sunshine, your personality filled me with joy.
But I hate it whenever you refuse to tell me what is going on.
Hate it when you say nothing. Hate it everytime the phone rings. Hate it when you go elusive on your tone.

Do you not know questions left unaswered breed more questions?
Uncertainty looms ahead, I have no firm grip on my sanity.