Hundred - the fray
The how I cant recall
But im staring at
What once was the wall
Separating east and west
Now they meet amidst
The broad daylight
So this is where you are
And this is where I am
Somewhere between
Unsure and a hundred
Its hard I must confess
Im banking on the rest to clear away
Cause we have spoken everything
Everything short of I love...
You right where you are
From right where I am
Somewhere between
Unsure and a hundred
And who's to say its wrong
And who's to say that its not right
Where we should be for now
So this is where you are
And this is where I am
So this is where you are
And this is where ive been
Somewhere between
Unsure and a hundred
Christmas.
I like christmas.
I walked past bugis junction and saw the christmas tree.
again.
This time, it looked ordinary.
Not the spectacular one I remembered 3 years ago.
I like christmas.
We squeezed our way through the throngs of shoppers at wisma underpass.
the familiar christmas songs like the catchy "all i want for christmas is my two front teeth blablabla"
or the one by michael jackson as a kid.
reminds me of times @ esprit, the crazy sales and gift wrapping fun.
I like christmas,
I like wanton mees and fireworks a week after christmas.
I like the ghost of christmases passed.
wheres my passport.
oh little red book where are you
last used back in 2006
for a little hair trip up north
where are you collecting dust? or cobwebs? or lizards' poo?,
in which corners of the house do you reside?
let me find you please,
i don't wana pay 100 over bucks,
to get a new one with me botak.
essay..
got to write essay for national education stuff for the army and so i write.
dun think this essay is fill with any juices of national education. hah!
took me 5 precious BOOK-OUT hours to come out with this.
TITLE : MY DEFINING MOMENT IN BMT
-------
Having been halfway through BMT, I can surely say that the prevailing attitude of most enlistees has on the day of enlistment is a pessimistic one. Mine was clouded with fears, doubts and uncertainties of the coming weeks. The dreaded confinement period, the relentless “tekan” sessions by the Commanders, having to live with total strangers for weeks, all of these negative views predominates my mind weeks before enlistment.
At the beginning, the one thing I loathe to do is the reciting of the seven core values every morning. I questioned myself umpteen times on why are we doing this, shouting and pretending to be zealous at 5.30am in the morning! To me, I find it as a feeble attempt to inculcate the values in us.
Ironically, I found the answers to my whys at the lowest point of my life in BMT, Field Camp. My attitude shifted from down south, to up north as I realized the bigger picture, the so called “reason” my Platoon Commander told us about.
The sun was especially scorching on that day and everyone had just finished the 8 kilometers road march. After a 10 minutes rest and some “tekan” session for failing to pitch our Basha tent properly, my buddy and I were picked for a mission by our sergeant’s undiscriminating finger to collect the resup pack for the platoon. I think it is appropriate for me to say that we were lucky/fortunate to be picked out from among the rest when they were being punished going into prone position and leopard crawling, otherwise I wouldn’t have my epiphany and this essay will never happen.
Halfway down the road my buddy stopped on his track and placed his hand on his head. Seeing this ominous sign, I remembered he had a high fever just last night and with a “chiongster” recruit mentality, he decided to keep mum and participated in the road march. He was the wrong man for the wrong mission! There are times where impossible stares right at my face and this is one of it, there is no way he can carry or even pull the combat rations up the path. Fortunately there was a rover nearby and a sergeant was kind enough to allow us to load the rations onto it but we had to walk back.
A Commander with the appointment of Master Trainer saw me supporting him with obvious difficulties; the rifles were in the way, our LBVs were bulky and heavy and I clearly do not have the physical strength to support him fully. He motioned to us to seat with him and rest in the shades, while waiting for the only Rover to be free from duty so that we would be able to hitch a ride back.
In retrospect and in layman’s term, I find that those Enciks are just like sages, advance in their age, past their physical prime but they have lots of wisdom/experience to share. We chatted underneath the shades and just like those TV shows whereby a master enlightens his disciple in some desolate cave, he enlightened me.
He shared with me this;
“Each of us is being allocated a few sets of 10 years. The first set of 10 years, we spent learning how to walk, how to talk. The next set of 10 years, we spent studying. Follow by the next set of 10 years; we spent working and building up our career. The next few sets of 10 years till death, we enjoy the fruits of our labour.
No matter what, 2 years of your time you are going to be in the army whether you like it or not, so why not make the best out of it?”
It set me thinking on how do I make the best out of it? Coincidently I don’t have to think long because it happened next.
“Recruit Chng, your buddy is sick and I am entrusting YOU the responsibility-.” He jabbed his index finger on my chest, “To make sure he report sick and if anything happens to him, YOU are answerable for it.” He ended with an intense look on his face. Somehow, deep inside me I understood the seriousness of the matter, I felt roused to take good care of my sick buddy. I know I can do a good job looking after someone because I am a creature of empathy and also because, I have the training as a biomedical student. That particular defining moment, I found my “reason” to serve; to help fellow soldiers and it felt so right to me. I don’t have to be the best recruit in the company, don’t have to get marksman for my live range or even pass IPPT, I can just start right away.
You might know of the infamous acronym of “SAF”(SERVE AND FUCKOFF) which many enlistees live by it till the day they ORD. But for me, I like mine to be “Serve And Fulfill”. For those struggling out there, still looking for their own unique reason to serve, I leave you with this speech by William Osler, “Learn to accept in silence the minor aggravations, cultivate the gift of taciturnity and consume your own smoke with an extra draught of hard work, so that those about you may not be annoyed with the dust and soot of your complaints.”
-------
Some part of it never happened, like the 10 years speech.
wong's dad told me about it a couple of years ago and i just needed some ideas.
so yeah, there are NO defining moments in my BMT for me.
no real ones anyway.
P.O.P SOON.
One of those days.
Took the bus back from zoo,
one of those days where mood turns blue.
Can't explain why, can't explain how, can't explain myself.
time and time again, I'm in a trench
where the leapfrogging to the front never ends.
1 year 2 years
3 years and 4th.
camping
Numb finger is good for one thing at a bbq.
You get to eat freshly bbq chicken wing cause you can't feel the heat.
grenade
Sergeant Dom : YOU PUT ALL YOUR FINGER INTO THE SAFETY PIN AND PULL! ALL OF IT.
US : Yes Sergeant.
My turn came to throw the practice grenade.
Sergeant HG : Allson! nervous anot?
Me : Yes lo.
Sergeant HG : Don't worry, no one die from it yet!
Put all my index finger into the ring, wrapped my index finger around it at TWIST.
Fuck.
My whole index finger numbed for 28 hours and counting. Sprained from pulling a practice grenade.
battery low.
Peg's lorry battery flat because she forgot to turn off her headlights or whatever(i don't know the car/lorry parts).
23 people at the Zoo's carpark tried to "jumpstart" it for 3 hours, lots of pushing up and down the slope, burning and fixing wires. In the end, gota buy a $61 cable before we can finally head off to Yishun for our long overdue supper.
It was funny and comical to watch them pushing, screaming and shouting; they were having fun at the situation which is good. The fun theory makes thing easier and manageable I guess.
5 more book outs till I leave Tekong, HOPEFULLY for good. Tomorrow's outfield training should be quite fun.
Actually, I'm just bluffing myself. It's no fun to be be proning on muds or leopard crawling on grounds riddled with rocks.
Post field camp
Have i come to appreciate stuff that makes my life comfortable after my field camp?
Yes, Of course I did, like any sane, reasonable person would.
My bed, handphone, washing machine, even water.
Thankfully, it's all yesterdays.
pre field camp.
The sweat beads pooled together around the edges of my helmet's inner layer, unable to escape due to the tight fitting. Some managed to drip their way down my cheek, turning green by the camouflage cream before gathering into a small puddle of green sweat inside my chin guard. Yuck.
In prone position, my breathing was shallow and quick, The LPV was uncomfortably tight, clinging on to me like a second heavy,bulky skin. My arms ached from the lactic acid built up, keeping the rifle straight was no easy walk in the park.
I can't afford to make any adjustment to ease the discomfort. The principles of concealment taught earlier says to "suck thumb and endure", my civilian mind says "why the fuck am proning down in a jungle, training for a war long overdue and most probably not happening in my lifetime".
I let out a barely audible sigh at the exhausting argument I had within my head. Resigned to fate, might as well go through the motion.
lessons will be taught and forgotten,
time will continue to come and pass.
tough or slack, time does not discriminate.
endure, endure is the only way.
Sunday
Going back to Tekong at 1950 hours(7.50pm). Getting used to it.
Adaptability is an asset, whining is just the(my) byproduct of it.
How funny, this short one month flew by quickly. When living the 5 days, when dreading the 11 days, time slows to a crawl; like a snail moving its way across the pavement. But when I reach the end(normally bookout day), I felt accomplished. The yesterdays I used to get there, its 1) behind, 2) memories, 3) a joke, 4) intangible.
Yesterdays are the credits, spent wisely(foolishly) today, to purchase a better(worse) tomorrow.
say me :)
a reason
420 bucks earned with sweat and blood.
the floor of the multi purpose floor became slippery with our perspiration, making it hard to do the push ups as our palms kept slipping away.
crunches in position, ready.
leg raised high, 90 degrees bent at knee.
i looked up high and saw a pair of butterflies doing their mating dance.
1 2 3 4
2 2 3 4
3 2 3 4
the counting continues on in the background.
i responded to the counts, do the crunches.
but my mind is elsewhere, on the butterflies.
time goes by quickly this way by not being there yet being there.
Day out.
the Saturday feels exceptionally short.
swim, run errands, do chores, meet up, party and just like that, a day is over.
more time please.
Facade
Some things, you are just helpless to change.
Stand on the sideline and watch it happen.
How tough is it?
With a wanting heart and a crippled hand.
----------
Time is tight in the army
Most of the time rushing from point a to b
Fatigue and sore muscles robbed my will to pen thoughts down
But nonetheless,i remember them well.
On the train to meet friends now
A day spent with them,preparing for days without.
Particular one can't make it,
And it's a big void to fill in.
-----------------
Bloody tekong birds sat by the window
At 2am in the morning.
One tried a kamikaze against the glass
Another suspended nearby with it's wings fluttering in a blur.
They chirped throughout the night
My frustration raised to a new height.
Officers yelled "fuck up birds"
Even with their ranks, they are no match against mother nature.
All we recruits want is a good night sleep.
But everyday we got to worry about birds' feathers and their shits.
Bunk inspections, we always fail
Because of the damn bloody tekong birds.
------------------------
Early in the morning sun
Quebec company having fun
Drenched in sweats with our platoon mates
Going jogging on the grey track.
Heylo heylo hey lo hey lo hey lo
Early in the morning sun
Quebec company having fun
My blur buddy forgot to bring FAD(First Aid Dressing)
In the end I kerna SGT TEKAN.
Heylo heylo hey lo hey lo hey lo.
---------------------------
Tekong is not hard.
Just that most of the time I'm preoccupied.
close my eyes and you came in sight.
would be great if you could get out of my mind and just materialize.
Last post as a civilian.
This is the last of it.
Last day of work ended on diabetic's nightmare serving of ben n jerry's, courtesy of Vikrant and gathering for the last supper at Chomp x 2.
It's funny whenever we eat jelly beans, we will end up discussing about the flavours and make funny faces.
Pre-tekong-mood.
Blah.
no free will
certain inclination
impelled by those chords you strung with your smile.
Absence
"And all of your weight
and you dream falls on me
it falls on me
and the beautiful sky
the light you bring
it falls on me
falls on me"
Religion's grey.
Purplish were his lips, cracked, caking from the powder and not moving. I know he would at least mouth "it's okay" but no he can't, he is dead.
Mum's eyes had a tinge of red in it, with pools of tears welling. When the ritual group moved to the coffin, mum's self restraint just broke free.
She let loose an anguish cry, the kind that I remembered forever,
hugging the casket, she asked, begged for forgiveness in matters that shouldn't matter.
At that moment my heart was torn asunder.
my mood turned so fucking black, I felt like slapping my dad.
Angry and not understanding the senseless prohibition in the name of HIS religion.
So I say to myself "what the fuck and whatever" , I am joining my cousins.
It is now or never, to do something.
To uphold justice, no matter how childish.
How dare you muthafarker make my mother cry,
You knnnnbcb.
So I snatched some incense paper from the taoist priest
and during the "merry-go-round" the coffin, we all started throwing.
the defiance in me says "Hey dad, look what I'm doing!"
the wry part of me asks "Would it be okay if these paper were from the bible?"
If I'm being condemned to Hell because I burned some joss sticks, throw some incense paper.
I can imagine how narrow-minded Paradise must be.
You see the puddle of water over there?
That's shallow and that's you.
the "want" to write always vanishes in an instant.
maybe the screen is too bright.
On deathwatch
Keeping vigil at the hospital. Tired.
Someone saw a moth in the room, and they are talking about great grandma coming to take grandpa away.
2 weeks notice
He had a dazed look as he struggled to hold himself up for the birthday picture with his son, my uncle.
Arms folded, I stood half a head taller behind the rest of my female cousins, all of them busy snapping photos of the two of them with their handphones and cameras, laughing and joking away.
I feel that this simple celebration of my uncle's birthday is a small respite from the exhausting journey the family is going through right now; accompanying him through the last stages of his life.
I didn't indulge in this temporary false mirth in that room rather I felt unease by the sight of grandpa. The ravages of the disease made his ribs so prominently shown by his now oversized uncle type of polo-tee, his eyes looked puffy and the cheeks were sunk in.
Skeleton, he looked just like a skeleton with my grandpa features clung onto the frame.
I felt weird, went to the living room and attempted to watch TV but my mind was racing.
"this is the last time my uncle and his dad will be taking pictures together"
"the last celebration of ur birthday with your dad"
"2 weeks 2 weeks, how will it end?"
What a pessimistic prick.
The birthday song ended and I clapped from the living room with grandma beside me.
----
just shut up.
damn it.
you know, the fluttering, its back.
like harry potter's scar.
weekend.
Had a productive merry making weekend that included getting drunk at arena, mindless killing of zombies(left4dead) and eating 50 xiao long bao(crystaljade).
intoxication is a funny thing.I thought I have kept my wits within by having the clarity to tell myself im not drunk,in not drunk which isn't the case. what I did was just another hallmark of drunkenness. This reminds me of the funny conversation in the cab,going home shared with my friend.
"hey Jas,you okay? still drunk haha." making a statement regarding her slumped body at the backseat of the cab,just beside me.
"no alson, im drunk but im not drunk. ppl that are drunk will not say that they are drunk,im telling you that im drunk because im not drunk."
"hmm, very compelling."
and we started singing "we are going to the zoo zoo zoo" in the cab.
omfg.
the last few strands of humanity
in every week,
i live for 2 days.
last few strands of humanity.
it's 4 am
half an hour ago, i awoke to some sounds that seemed out of place.
the fucking thief was using an umbrella to try and hook my table closer to the window.
and he ran towards the other end of the corridor.
so now i know it's either of my neighbors.
both equally suspicious.
Gona hang pig head @ my window to ward them off.
kfc breakfast.
ate it for 4 days straight.
today ate the morning burger + the american twister.
i think i overfed myself today.
indigestion.
UPTOWN GIRL.
the radio played
UPTOWN GIRL, she's been living in her uptown world.
blablabla.
And I remembered stupid stuff from secondary school times!
for that brief moment, a small parting opening up between the blinder, what we would do when we want to take a peek at the other side obscured by it. It felt comfortable,heartwarming and I can't help the half smile that comes unbidden.
catchy tune.
uptown girl! lalala,in a white bread world.
every morning i pit my clouts against aunties and uncles in the mrt.
which door to enter from,
where to stand to increase my chances,
should i tilt my body or stick out my leg to claim dominance over the area,
observing who's getting ready to alright,
make mental images of the paths they are taking, so as to get in front of them or be a step faster.
all just to get a seat.
Hah.
prepared.
Grandpa prognosis is grim,
3 to 6 months left for him.
I knew that metastasis would happen,
given time and after halting treatment and of course, his continued puffing of cigarettes.
I sounded apathetic, or even unsympathetic when mum called me
but that's because I have expected it, not because I'm not feeling anything.
Pardon me for replying only "Orh ic" and "Okay"
but there is little left for me to say.
What mum seek is reassurance that "everything will be okay"
but in truth, in reality, death stalks her father; my grandfather every day.
i hope deliverance from this period of hardship gets to her soon,
and the clarity to accept and see past whatever comes.
and not like younger sister in all her simple thinking, remains foolishly and naively believing that this phase of "grandparents passing" would not come.
I need to write.
I felt like I had stones for brain today, issues here and there kept popping up like heavy weighted bubbles, can't be pricked, can't throw it away because its all in the mind.
And the scorching hot weather isn't helping.
It could be any time now for the SMS or phone call to come.
He might never see daylight again
or could his resiliency postpone his meeting with the grim reaper?
I don't want to know.
deadweight.
a heavy anchor tied to a string and around my head.
like some stupid dead weight.
tried to shake it off like how my dog would violently wag its tail
but the struggling remains futile.
Rant
zero gave me a kind of peace
unlike the many other numbers under "sole-proprietorship".
i was hoping simple arithmetic calculation could solve all,
but there are so many "reliefs" and "restrictions" to prove me wrong.
it is true the devil is in the details
so many times I've come across zeros that doesn't mean it's an empty field!
some commoners are lucky and stand to gain
from an underpaid and sleepy temporary tax assistant's poor mistakes.
-
what am i doing in IRAS?
Tuesday ur unlucky day
Maths to express a Tuesday.
3/3 = 1 whole, a day.
first 1/3 of the day starts at 6.30am to 12pm.
2nd 1/3 of a day beings at 1pm all the way till 5pm.
last 1/3 of the day, 6.30pm to 10.30pm.
Deleted a large chunk of whatnot.
whatever,can't seem to write anything.
angels and angels.
read the book four? five? or even six? years ago and today watched the screen adaptation.
i wish i was 2 years back in times watching da vinci code.
you know why.
Don't know what is wrong with the wanton noodles @ novena square.
Ate it during lunch break and bloated/ache stomach till now.
So little time yet sometimes, too much free time. But still couldn't make time.
When will I see you again.
Bee
a kindergarten song that goes.
wong wong wong, wong wong wong
she is busy as a bee,
come and go so hastily
not wasting any minute.
something like that. haha.
paper trails.
With the amount of paper used and signed, I can pave a pretty long paper trail all the way from my house to Changi.
God forbid that I have a "by the book" supervisor that insists us to write down every transaction and there is something else I find it even more ridiculous, I have to write down the number of times I use the system, as in writing down the number of times I hit refresh to check on a new person. It's like surfing Yahoo news and jotting down the number of times I click a news link.
But of course, I am flexible.
He wants to see a number to feel secure, so I gave him a reasonable number to address his insecurity.
I should not be dealing with numbers, I should be washing test tubes and smuggling home rubber gloves from some laboratory.
NB
MY BED METALLIC NETTING BROKE ON ONE SIDE.
SO NOW IM SLEEPING SLANTED.
A kind heart ?
I get it why people hate accounts
and now I know why very wealthy people do Charity without second thought,
Because of the 2 times amount tax deduction on the amount donated.
If A(Super wealthy guy) donates 5million to Charity,
he will be entitled to 2 times the amount for tax deduction and that is a cool 10 million.
Interesting.
Now you know why most Philanthropists are Entrepreneurs.
Having a Triple F.
Flu,
Fatigue,
Fever.
once in a blue moon
"DAD is buying mac, ask you what you want."
I was sleeping late into the afternnon when mum woke me up..
"Huhhhhh..........." drifted back to sleep, macdonald? my dad? come on, that's good dream.
"OI OI , what you want!"
"Anything...."
20 years or for as long as I can remember, this is the first time my frugal dad bought me a mac meal. A meal exceeding 5 dollars on non special occasion is really once in a blue moon. I havent seen any blue moon yet, tonight I shall keep a lookout for it.
But then again, comes the inevitable messup to such a wonderful gesture.
No chilli sauce.
Comfort zone.
Turning 22 in a few weeks time,
wondered what it would be like 8 years down the road.
Will I be someone with a fledging career,a fulfilling life or just, I don't know how to say it hmm, "average?" or even "below average?"
That particular satisfying feeling of life is missing or lacking, I don't even freaking know how to describe it. I have not experienced those "YES I DID IT" kind of moments for a few years now.
I often day dream about being this, doing that in a few years time but there aren't any progress made and I am fucking frustrated by my inert attitude. Is this a momentary bout of procrastination at my end or a fundamental flaw in my character?
It has to be,--it must be the former.
I,---no, We can do better.
All of us.
Woke up and found a pile of shit outside my room,
and FOUR puddles of pee at different corners of the house.
Fuking irresponsible sister( and whoever is involved) bought a new puppy and don't wanna find time to train it.
This is the last time I'm cleaning up the mess, next pile of shit and pee you clean it yourself.
This house is a mess, a shit hole.
5am and where's sleep!
Been like this for MONTHS
omg.
mundane
It was monday.
and now
it is saturday.
The major decisions I've made for the past few days include
what to eat for lunch, dinner and supper?
drinking teh-o-peng or barley?
Just 1 part.
time sounds like its running from one point to another,
marching on like my favorite 4.04 minutes song,
played once, stop and that's it, its gone.
But you, you are my immortal,
immortalized as the chorus.
playing on repeat.
this is how i get by the days,
the repeats
which are just enough to get me out of my bed.
BORED
Was bored, dog walked into the room and just lay down on all four paws. Oh, fan wasn't on osicillation and she's enjoying it altogether with the cooling marble floor.
I sat down on the floor, lean against my bed and tried upteen times, gesturing and calling her to come near me. I gave up and just pull her near. Reached into the drawer and pulled up two dusty report book.
"ALISON needs to put in more effort blablabla." - Primary 1. Yeah, pri 1 to sec 2, my name was alison.
"ALISON can achieve better results if he changes his attitude in class." - Primary 3, the naughty times.
"ALISON needs to catch up with his reading of English books." - Primary 5, my form teacher just loves to read books.
Secondary School
"ALISON must put in more effort in his studies." - Sec 1, and lol the photo, i still have soft baby like hair that doesn't curl.
Grades throughout secondary school were
very consistent. 20, 30 marks for mathematics, below 20 for Chinese, always an A for humanities, most of the time a B for science and can't get past a C for DnT.The only flatuating grade was English.
One particular report reminds me of how bad a student I can be.In year 2004, when I was in my first secondary 5 class after scrapping through N level with 9 points. First semester I gotten 4 F9s, and 1 C6, level position was, 40 out of 61 and 16 out of 30 for class position. I wonder how they place students with 5 F9s, never get a chance to flunk that badly to compare with my other classmates.
And so I read the report books to the dog, laughing at the grades, pointing,showing the numerous red underlines to her. It sounds crazy but its was a boring evening.
Wishful thinking
Just applied for two local uni even though its a one in a million chance.
Perhaps my essay will move them to tears.
and grant me an interview.
but as the title goes, wishful thinking.
There's this private uni, MDIS.
Which offers direct honours @ SGD $35k(Possible exemption for first year but I don't want.)(Not inclusive of whatever charges)
BUT THEN its an evening program. (Need to be confirmed)
Even though the degree is from an accredited university,
the "evening program" label made it sound like a night school.
which is so, wrong.
Me, attending a NIGHT SCHOOL?
No way.
So I thought of something impossible and that is,
taking A levels.
I have 2 years in army.
I can take GP, Chemistry, Biology, History, Mathematics, more than enough subjects to get to local uni.
BUT there's the freaking mother tongue hurdle, though I still need to find out whether MT is compulsory or not. I saw something on Mother Tongue syllabus B on the examination webby.
It would be perfect if I can combine 2 years result. Again, need to find out more.
Or just let me strike ToTo. $500k will do
I'll take the first flight out of SG to study in the land of timtams and kiwis.
blur.
dozed off hungry at around 8pm,
woke up disorientated ard 10.45pm, kept trying to pinpoint what day is it.
it is a sunday right? since i'm not working and ill be waking up to a monday morning.
even though I convinced myself it's a sunday evening, there were still some doubts, it felt wrong.
I checked laptop and it read 10.47pm, Monday, 2/16/2009.
woah, time flies.
Tml will be a tuesday morning.
The only time when I don't look like a fool with my mouth open
The interior was brightly lit, white marble tiles that did wonder in lighting up the room and also, giving a very lasting first impression that says "CLEAN CLEAN CLEAN"
As the dental chair slowly reclines, I remembered primary school's dental appointments, especially the ah neh dentist that everyone is afraid to have. If you are scheduled to have him, it only meant that you have a tooth extraction coming up.
I watched curiously off the reflection of the plastic film that the dentist wore over her mask. That was the only thing to do and it helps to know what's going on. I like to know what's going on, what to anticipate. I am the kind that will look at the needle during injection.
Rarely do I close my eyes
and grope for things in the dark.
I'll admit,
The "what ifs" are paralytic.
But the saying goes nothing venture, nothing gain.
.
Damn sore throat.
Conflict.
First day of Job intake would be on the 24th Feb,
BUT
on the 24th Feb, I'll have to return to CMPB for my medical stuff.
...
Of Prawning.
First you catch them.
Then you cooked them, with lots and lots of salt and bring your own chilli sauce.
Of window
Finally got rid of my rusty room window.
The dust, the rust, the image of it just ruin my idea of a clean room.
10am, armed with a chisel and a hammer, we slowly chipped away the foundation until only the rusty screws left, those that formed some unbreakable bond with the metal.
Basic Science kicked in.
Went to get a can of Coke Light (High in phosphoric acid) and dabbed it onto the rusty screws, praying and hoping that they would come out easily. I only managed to remove 2 screws out of 6 that are stucked.
The easy way don't work, the hard way should.
Dad took over and he started hammering so hard, about 5 mins, the ENTIRE window came off.
And I slept that night with a hole in my room.
Teaching the dog to shit in a brand new toilet bowl.
feb
february, what have you done to january?
why are you here?
----------
A china women came and asked me about the tram ride,
I replied the usual way. "40 mins journey if you're not planning to stop blablabla."
Then she asked something : "（walking trails)要这么走?"(in chinese but i duno the pinyin.)
It seems a simple question but I took longer than average human to process it, my brain suddenly overwhelmed with the complexity of a simple question.
No one has ever asked me that in chinese,
it sounded funny and i can't help myself but answer
"eh, 用脚走."
It's a good day.
Woke up and it's another day at grandma's house again.
The first traffic light that I crossed turned green the moment I reached the edge.
The MRT arrive just in time when I reached the platform.
The Second MRT at Jurong East Interchange arrived just in time too when I alighted from the first train.
The traffic light at grandma's place turned green too, the instant I saw it after climbing the flight of stairs.
The lift at grandma's block open without me needing to press the button.
It was a non-stop,quick and calm journey to Holland Village. Everything just falls into place at the right time.
hope it will be the same when I go for my Medical Assessment.
A lazy chinese new year
Those normal HDB trees swayed lazily by the late afternoon breeze.
Me and Grandpa stood outside his house on the corridor, me holding a packet of weird
tasting season Ice Lemon Tea while he kept puffing his cigarette away. He told me he used to be a driving instructor for 20 years...
Grandpa : "ALI AH, NI OW CHA BUAY?" (alson, are you learning driving?)
Me : "Ah buay lei, auto or manual ka ho?" (Not yet, still deciding between Auto or Manual)
Grandpa : "KI OW AUTO, KA KWAY PASS, MIAN TA CLUTCH, AUTO KA HO" (Go for auto, easier to pass, no need to step on the clutch.)
Me : "Oh, Mummy Ow auto, but yi fail, ah mei ma si. hahaha" (Mummy learning auto but failed her TP, sister too.)
Grandpa : "HAHA, LI LAO BU BUAY SAI EH LA..AH CHOR YI PASS, WA MA MAI ZJIE YI EH CHA."(Your mum can't drive for nuts, even if she pass, I also don't dare to ride in her car.)
Me : "hahaaha"
damn
damn it
burn finger while ironing.
Was in class, some girls were going
"Im going over to Monash soon!"
"Daddy, have you changed the currency? I heard the exchange rate is better here!"
"I think its gona be cold there."
"Have you gotten ready for the interview?"
Was at home when some particular person status was
"All of the sudden so many university offering me places?"
Was surfing net
"Top students exclusive tour to NTU.."
a letter came from the mailbox
"Nanyang Technological University, office of Admissions and Financial Aid."
Stashed away in my drawer.
"MDIS programmes magazine"
Shut up about the Uni talk already.
Yes I know you have a 3.8 gpa, (about 50% from wikipedia, the other 50% from 6th presentation obtained through friends that already graduated.)
I know your family is loaded, 50k for the intergrated programme to Monash is no big deal even though you know nuts.
Oh, your prayer came true with so many university offering places to you? good for you.
Okok I get it, you have your winter clothings ready.
Okay, Im just jealous.
You choose.
Good things and Bad things happened.
Every decision an outcome of the intertwining of choices made.
And choices goes both way.
The end has come, graduation.
Every beginning has an end,
But every end has a new beginning.
School stuff is boring.
Which school will I be in 2 years from now?
That's a question for the near future.
Working @ NS is rather unproductive.
4 to 5 working hours, irregular days equates to a small band aid to my profusely bleeding bank account.
Time to sleep and get ready for the last few breakfast in school.....
black pepper chicken rice.
grey's anatomy
we are human,
we make mistakes,
we misestimate,
we call it wrong.
to make any judgement call isnt simple.
people get hurt
they bleed.
so we struggle,
over every stitch.
we agonise,
over every suture.
because the snap judgement
are the ones that come to us quickly, easily without hesistation.
they are the ones that haunt us forever.
