State of being

I need to focus. Deadlines are closing in. I am stretched thin on all fronts.

Study. The last year. I can pass, i will pass. Just a matter of how well.
 There is no use blaming lecturers or color of the notes, or teammates. To pass well, it depends on self. To depend on others is akin to padding my own coffin.
For far too long, we have laughable multiple choice questions as buoyancy marks. It makes us(me) feel good straight away, like an instant drug effect. But when you think really hard about it, it adds zero value to my intellectual pursuit and diminishes the credibility of our studies.
What a mockery to suffer for the money we paid.
This year is a game-changer. No more MCQs, just the questions, the pens, and a blank answer pad. It is going to be a bloodshed.
But I will not be one of the slaughtered.

Work. For the past year or so, I have grown accustomed to a certain size of my paycheck.
Not the kind possible with an hourly paid job. I eat what I want, when I want. Freedom to eat to the point of gluttony hah.
This new year, this location, this crowd is growing thinner week after week. Is it a cycle of change? will my honey spot be replenished?
Time will tell. But for now, I have an opportunity. It requires me to sacrifice 4 days of what little time I have left for exam preparation.
Is it worth it? It could potentially be. I will go for it, I will juggle work and studies.

Home. The number of things broken in my home(house) can only be surpassed by the number of times I am disappointed with them.
Aircon broke, door broke, chair broke, dogs, clutter-ness. It is as if everything in this house is breaking part by part by some unseen hands.
I shall not dwell on useless complains. I need to focus. I will fix the house by leaving in the future(near).

Heart. "my love", such sweet cloying words longed to hear. Yet it was spoken to another's ears. Such gesture piled upon deprivation, sapping strength and heart on this fourteenth night.