crestfallen

all these past 7 years, we talk of everything mundane
but not of anything important.
Im tired of playing questions and answers.
you you you keep going back to the same starting point,
stuck in kind of loop or something,
i try to bend you away from it,
i thought i wld finally succeed
but snap, out comes a fucking chanel and shattered the lie i have chose to live.
i know, i knew all along and chose not to face it, hoping chosing ignorant wld just dispel it.
there was no 7 years for you, you werent even counting.
all the time it seems like I am the only one doing the arithmetic and remembering the stuff that we did.
I wish we wld have done more, instead of movies and movies and fucking more movies.
I can only blame it on me, I was unimaginative. Time and time again, i just shut up and hope fate nudges you into my arms and having delusion of grandeur that i will prevail against all odds.
i always thought i have a latent blaze in me and you would be the one that ignite it. But now i wouldnt know. I feel snuffed out like a candle pinched off its flame by your bare fingers and i dont even know if you feel the burnt.