Uncertainty

Uncertainty grips me.
The dreading thought of the soon increasing distance threatens to overwhelm me.
Hai.
Looking at most of the blog entries, I see I speak of the lonliness that engulfs(Yes its like flame, hot even during the cool nights), I wrote how I felt towards the object of my infatuation and the stalemated situation I've encountered.

How many know that there are other words and feelings I want to say to you within what appeared to be on this blog ? Hai, It is only necessary to mask them up... these unspoken words cannot be known by others close to you for you are already attached.

I had hoped that things would unfold somehow but this beacon of hope I carried begins to sting. At night where all lights ceased to exist, this illusionary glow would light up at the back of my mind, illuminating what I hope for...At first, I welcome the pulse of happiness whenever I dream abt my dreams. As time progress I felt them diminished and replaced by another feeling called yearning. Coupled with the reality of you being attached, It is the epitome of sadness, the purest of pain of wanting something that isnt mine.(at least to me it is)

So long I have stayed under the cover of this blog and also masquerading myself as a friend. Im not just your friend. Im someone that cares more than a friend does and someone that holds you very dear. ..

The other side of me: "Oh shut up you hypocrite, stop typing. All these while you are typing and typing, claiming that you had feelings for her but why are you not doing anything at all? "

Haha okok, its either fight or flight for myself, for her and for a happiness worthy for her.

Before I sleep...
/me spit at fate.